Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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