I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
