All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
