If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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