well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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