I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize