i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
