What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
