I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
