Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
