That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The feeling are messing with the penis
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
