What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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