There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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