ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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