Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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