Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
