I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
50% drunk capacity currently
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
