ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
