someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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