I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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