carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
