Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
