Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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