Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
