420 ftw
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
