the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Randomize
