Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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