how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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