He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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