i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
