worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
