Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize