If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
