time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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