it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
