He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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