your parents love me but you hate me
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
