its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
