Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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