I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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