I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
