Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
