i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
