he wants to bone in the snuggie
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
