thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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