hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
