the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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