Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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