I seem to have left my pride at pride
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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