end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Randomize
