he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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