I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
