we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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