I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
