I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Porn is love you can see.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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