there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
